Parents
WELCOME!
If you are looking for helpful, practical information on raising responsible, cooperative children using proven and widely accepted techniques, you have come to the right place!
If you are looking to create or improve your family atmosphere (making it more peaceful!), you have come to the right place! Whether you are living together in a household with two parents; a single parent; a noncustodial parent; a guardian or any role that concerns nurturing and guiding children of all ages — you have come to the right place! Here you will find information about Adlerian parent education; connect to resources for further information; and sources for support in your journey. This page connects you to the NASAP members who affiliate as parent/family educators and who invite you to join as a member of our Family Education Section.
WHAT IS ADLERIAN PARENTING?
As Adlerians we are optimistic: we believe that human beings fundamentally want to feel a sense of belonging, to find a place within a community (= family), and that children (and all people) are motivated to belong on the useful side. As parents, we can learn to encourage this natural desire by helping children find a positive way to belong.
Our principal techniques utilize Encouragement instead of reward, and Consequences instead of punishment. Our authors, leaders and teachers inspire us to recognize that all people want to connect, to feel capable, to count, and to have courage (formulated as “Crucial Cs” by Bettner and Lew). With this insight, our parenting techniques can help YOU help your children internalize those positive feelings.
As our NASAP founder Rudolf Dreikurs observed, “A child needs encouragement like a plant needs water.”
—Children: The Challenge
FUNDAMENTALS OF OUR APPROACH
Democratic Principles
Living in a democracy requires social equality and mutual respect. Adults are respected leaders; children are respected learners.
Birth Order
The meaning the child takes from their actual or psychological birth order position in the family plays a strong role in personality development.
Understand Goals
All behavior has purpose, moving toward a goal. Understanding a child’s goals helps adults encourage or re-direct their path.
Use Encouragement
Encouragement — as opposed to praise — allows children to develop internal confidence and feelings of self-worth rather than needing to seek external approval.
Use Consequences
Allowing or creating opportunities for children to safely experience consequences for their behavior choices teaches responsibility — as opposed to punishment, which invites retaliation.
Family Meetings
Family Meetings are held to foster belonging and practice living in a democracy.
WHY DOES THIS SOUND SO FAMILIAR?
These ideas are the basis of many well-known, highly respected and effective parent programs.
Rudolf Dreikurs’ groundbreaking book Children: the Challenge (1964) is considered the classic in the field, and is still in print. Subsequent contributions to Adlerian parent education such as STEP: Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (1976) and Active Parenting (1983) added communication elements from Rogerian Thomas Gordon and were designed as leader-led discussion kits. Don Dinkmeyer and Gary McKay’s STEP introduced audiotaped examples and Michael Popkin’s Active Parenting was the first to provide video enhancements. Each of these authors went on to produce additional — and current — specialized texts along the same lines, inspiring parents and educators with practical democratic techniques and insights.
Among others building on these principles and reframing them are Betty Lou Bettner and Amy Lew in Raising Kids Who Can; Jane Nelsen in Positive Discipline; Linda Albert in Cooperative Discipline; and programs all across the US and Canada and worldwide. (You can link on these pages to some of these outstanding programs, below — Books, Resources and Affiliates.)
All of these authors and programs are part of NASAP’s DNA and community of educators.
WHY TAKE A CLASS?
Hear what one of our programs has to say about how effective and helpful parenting programs can be. This one is from the Parent Encouragement Program/PEP, founded by leading Adlerian expert Linda Jessup in the DC/Maryland area. Like many of our NASAP Affiliates, PEP has in-person and online programs as well as resource-rich websites.
CONNECT WITH OUR FAMILY EDUCATION AFFILIATES:
Books Books and More Books!
Link here to discover examples of the many helpful texts compatible with Adlerian parent and family education. Discover our authors.
Really Great Resources
There is so much to share, and so many wonderful Adlerian education opportunities online and in-person, we need another page to show you more. It’s like having your own “Adlerpedia.”
NASAP Affiliates
All around the world, there are thriving Adlerian organizations. Find regional NASAP affiliated organizations, counselors and coaches. Link here.
FAMILY EDUCATION SECTION MEMBERS
The Family Education Section applies Adlerian principles to the home. Members are professionals and non-professionals dedicated to understanding and improving family relationships between children and adults, within couples, and among individuals.
We meet online monthly. FE Section members receive a direct address to attend online but all interested persons are welcome. Check out the Events page for details. Enroll via a form found here: https://forms.gle/vz1ByW3DV4AyTyHbA
Meet us in person at our annual conference! We will meet in Florida_2024.
